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The 9 Most Awkward Stock Photos of People on the Can

February 10th, 2011

After sifting through more than 20,000 bathroom related stock images on istockphoto.com (while on the can obviously), there’s a surprising number of curious photos that fit under the category of jaw dropping, flaccid inducing and/or just awkward.

1.

The difficult thing about this picture is trying to determine whether this is an awkward human being or an actual gorilla. If Dian Fossey was still alive, she’d certainly chime in and provide the answer. It’s probably not a true gorilla who has learned human tendencies such as sign language (“Amy, good gorilla”). He could just be a dude dumping at a Halloween party, but that doesn’t sound as interesting of speculation.

2.

How is this one legal? If this kid’s shirt was hiked up 1 inch higher, we’d all be having our doors kicked in by the FBI within minutes. And why does this tot look like he’s so concerned whether or not his 401k rollover to an IRA will effect the income tax rate on his salary deferral?

3.

A couple things to note here. First, the sweet asian lady (or is it a Native American man? It’s hard to tell) either forgot to pull down her khakis or just loves the sensation of a warm load spending the rest of the day in her pants. Secondly, why is it BYOTP?

4.

How much did Mike Ditka get paid to pose for this shot?

5.

Like pics of Penelope Cruz giving birth, I can’t tell if this is sexy or not. The high heels and socks scream fap-worthy, but I’d have to inspect the damage she left behind to make my decision. Based on her facial frustration and the amount of toilet paper, it’s not a pretty sight. I’m guessing it’s the beer shits.

6.

I don’t remember a camera crew breaking into my house. Yes, I still sport the flannel and Rod Blagojevich sideways hair part but still slay ass like Charlie Sheen with a bottle of rohypnol.

7.

Speaking of getting laid, here’s a dual tug job to brighten up your day. Like Larry Craig at the airport, these guys couldn’t even wait to leave the bathroom before initiating sexual acts of homosexuality.

8.

This lightweight MMA fighter is wondering why the ‘roids turned his shit neon green. Either that or his hideous and morbidly obese girlfriend just showed positive on a pregnancy test.

9.

No comment on this one. Chime in with a comment or caption for this photo below…

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  • 5 responses to "The 9 Most Awkward Stock Photos of People on the Can"

  • Comment posted on 10th February 2011 at 20:11 Branded Statement

    I don’t care if it looks like this turkey (or is that a chicken) just took a massive dump, I’d eat it and its excrement.

    I guess same goes for picture #5.

  • Comment posted on 11th February 2011 at 16:18 HershalW

    Holy hell, this is hilarious. The Native America dude/Asian chick is the best

  • Comment posted on 15th February 2011 at 21:56 IPeeSittingDown

    Wow, great pictures. Picture #3 reminds me of some of the bars in downtown Austin.

    • Comment posted on 16th February 2011 at 1:38 Branded Statement

      I know, those bring your own TP bars are a hoot (?)

      • Comment posted on 1st April 2011 at 19:13 IPeeSittingDown

        Some of the bathrooms in bars downtown have toilets completely out in the open. No stall, nothing. It’s weird walking in on some drunk dude taking a massive dump.

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